Motorcycles can be a summary of a corporation’s collective psychology, and in that case BMW’s latest super-touring fraternal twins, the K1600GT and K1600GTL, can be summed up as daring. Though, as you hunt down sport-boy on the R1, he glancing in the rear view mirror and catching a glimpse of your fully bagged ultra-opulent 1649cc, 160hp, 129lb-ft of torque, weapon of choice may sum it up as, “WTF?!?”

After hefting the Honda Varaderos through the Baja, I came to a conclusion – I hate big bikes in sand. Of course, taking the back way out of Slab City is what you’d expect of a desert; sand and deep sand at that. The surprise? Perhaps, we’ve been too quick in dubbing Ducati’s Multistrada 1200 S Touring “the Princess”.

72 Hours, 3 days; waiting in anticipation it can seem an eternity, but three days to ride from Vancouver to Los Angeles? That can seem all too brief. And the deadline? The will call at the Wiltern for a sold out concert of Florence and the Machine. Conspiring against me the scheduling deities are cramming the ride with a border crossing, two business meetings, and pesky biological needs; eating, sleeping and washroom all taking time from a 2,048 kilometer direct route. So, it’s Neil and the Machine, a R1200GS Adventure, versus Florence and the Machine.

A Porsche Boxter crawls by, and it’s immediately clear where the F800R got its flat-brap soundtrack; the German idea of fast. It’s not the beguiling song, sonic drama or a whining in-line four soundtrack, the BMW F800R’s rasp of sensibility grating against its Urban attack visual design. Its hard angles rendered in slight curves, truculent looks wrapped around new-rider usability and cornering expectations coupled to linear stability. The F800R is a rolling contradiction, that works in a miraculously rideable way.

In Part 2 of the Arctic Challenge the BMW F800GS, R1200GS Adventure and KTM 990 Adventure take to the dirt as we try to find the king of the adventure hill, in our survey of the three most asked about adventure bikes for 2009.

Three top-notch adventure bikes, the KTM 990 Adventure BMW R1200GS Adventure and BMW F800GS and it all comes down to the Dempster Highway – seven hundred and thirty-six kilometers of dirt, clay, mud, shale and gravel… The perfect environment for the ultimate adventure comparison.

If the 2009 BMW K1300GT and K1300S have a hallmark over their previous 1200 incarnations, it’s progress. But, trumping the slatherings of electronics, enhanced mechanicals, improved braking, and revised suspension may be… switch gear.

Brapppppp! In the far lane a rider on a R1200GS Adventure (GSA) has just sailed through an opening in rush hour’s waning traffic. Well played sir, but BMW’s F800GS isn’t so easily tossed aside. The GSA may have more guts, but it also has more mass, and the F800GS is proving epee precise and saber effective at slicing its way through the automotive throng.

“Run! It’s the Apocalypse Cow. Horizontally opposed twin udders of flaming destruction! Laser blast foglight eyes! Angry cartoon headlights! Grazing on the carcasses of defeated sportbikes in corners.”

Worldwide BMW has engineered a moto-media furor over the upcoming F800GS, a bike that is flying off virtual showroom floors with a popularity matching air, or water, or coffee. In that hubbub the F800GS’s sibling, the F650GS, has been all but forgotten in the media’s glare. The thing is this unpretentious offering could be BMW’s main event.

Almost every bike has a one defining element, something that differentiates it in a crowded market place. Occasionally that’s luscious looks, cosseting comfort, prodigious power, outstanding handling (okay, I ran out of alliteration there); …

Thrrrazzziiinnnn! The engine spins up, the tach sweeping past 7000-red.  What a subtle thing motorcycle design must be?  Snic-klink – another clutch-less upshift then back on the throttle.  It’s the same chassis, …

Watching the Dakar Rally I know the special gene that urges a man to self-flagellate across a desert for a month is missing in me. I respect these, and other, skilled dirt …

Hurtling through a serpentine of canyons on British Columbia’s Crow’s Nest Highway, I’m shocked. The BMW F800S I’d discounted as having an accountant’s soft, sensible and conservative soul, and I are …

I wonder what’s up that road?  It’s rutted, rocked and the soil looks loamy with aggregate mixed in.  I’d never attempt this grade on an adventure bike, but standing tall… very …

It’s 5:30AM in the morning and the BMW HP2 rocks to life.  Throwing a leg over I’m instantly confronted with the unexpected – I’m 6″2′ and man this thing is tall, I can barely flat …

“It’s going to be the, ‘I rode one of these in the war’ story”, I joke as we watch two elderly gentlemen appraise the three bikes.  BMWs it seems are some of the most approachable …

We ascend into Manning Park to the aeronautic thrum of the three horizontally opposed twin engines as the BMW R1200RT, R1200ST and R1200GS Adventure sweep though in single file.  April’s rugged meteorological terrain has been …